Oh the Places You'll Go: Journey to the Sunken Place

Wednesday in Whoville something ridiculous happened. We had someone come into the office, because he had some questions and needed to speak with someone on our staff. The young black man was on the shorter side, with a small build. He wore a funky Afro and shades. He was giving me a young Lenny Kravitz vibe, so that's what I'll call him.

Now admittedly Lenny was a bit strange. He used the stairs to get to our floor, and once he realized he was locked in the stairwell, he began to bang on the door quite loudly. Only staff with key cards can access the stairwells in Whoville, visitors usually take the elevator up. He isn't the first person to try to take the stairs, though most don't bang on the door. They just go back down and take the elevator up.

So granted, it was a weird encounter from the start. I guide him from the stairwell back to the front desk and ask, "How can I help you?" He says he had lots of questions and he wants to speak with someone on the staff. I ask him a few questions so I can find out who to direct him to. I call the representative, they come downstairs and take Lenny in an empty office to chat. They have their chat and exit the room. Lenny then asks for a copy of some pertinent paperwork so the rep goes up stairs to get it. Meanwhile Lenny is talking with another associate about how to log on to our website.

By now my break has come and someone comes to relieve me from the front desk. I go upstairs to the break room.

When I come back downstairs, I start finishing up a project I was working on. Someone on staff, I'll call them Thing 1, comes up and asks me how long Lenny has been here. I look up, because I hadn't noticed, and see that someone is in the drop-in office. I'm thinking it's Lenny and the rep in the room again, but it's not. It's just Lenny. I tell the Thing 1, "He's been here a while, since before my break." So now my interest is piqued. In my mind I'm thinking, "Why do we care how long he's been here?" Then Thing 1 says, "I don't like that I can't see where he is in there."

Bih why you worried?

He's a member in good standing, he's all paid up and he's been polite. So Thing 1 is like, "He's in there pacing the floor, talking on the phone, and opening and closing drawers." In my head I'm like "And?" People do a lot of weird things when they're talking on the phone. There are whole memes dedicated to this.

So Thing 1 is like hovering around my desk, sitting on the couches in the reception area and walking back and forth past the room. The drop-in office is not fully enclosed (no ceiling) and has glass walls. Thing 1 has absolutely no tact. A detective they should never try to be. I'm like WTF. That's an empty ass office. This ain't a retail store. There's nothing in there for him to take. Why are we tripping? Granted, we usually don't let members crash in our drop-in offices just because. He's getting a bit comfortable but so what? There are a number of whos in Whoville that do this. Whether they're taking their shoes off and putting their feet on the couches, asking us to make personal copies for them or trying to read materials in our big conference room instead of at the front desk. Our whos try it all the time. People try to get the most for the least and we have never stalked or badgered them because of it.

Until today.

So Thing 1 is lurking around my desk when low and behold, Thing 2 comes downstairs. So now we got two people stalking this man. Really? Really. Lenny is 120lbs soaking wet. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are huge. Super tall and wide. They were probably on the wrestling team in high school. And you really think you need backup for this lone black man? My mind immediately goes to how this country is always policing black bodies. I'm thinking about how when black men are pulled over by police for minor infractions that one cop ante up the whole police squad. It be five squad cars for one person. I'm thinking about Trayvon and Mike Brown. I am stressed TF out.

Then someone whispers, "I heard he has a bit of a mental problem." Thing 2 says, "He's never been violent but I've heard that he has a tendency to just disappear at work and no one can find him."

So by now I am screaming internally. I have dipped into the floor. I'm thrashing and suspended midair. This is a black man who they believe to be mentally unstable, getting too comfortable, in a space that is parched for melanin. Red flags and sirens are going off in my head and I'm praying that this guy leaves before someone does something stupid. I'm screaming in the sunken place, "GET OUT!"

Additionally, Thing 1 and Thing 2 have completely failed at deescalation. Don't they teach you that in business school? Don't they teach you conflict resolution? Their behavior raised the stress and paranoia level in the office from 0 to five hunit. Not just for me but for everyone in the general area.

I wasn't even worried about Lenny. But now since they circling my desk like vultures, whispering, making assumptions and sh*t, I'm like, "Well damn maybe this mug is crazy." And that's bullsh*t. He wasn't doing anything wrong. Clearly they had no right to remove him from the office or best believe they would have tried it.

Then Thing 1 and Thing 2 go back to Thing 1's office, walking past Lenny to get a good look once again. So I go back to minding my business as best I can. After a while, Thing 2 comes out again and tries to casually spark a conversation with me.

Fam.

You don't speak 5 words to me on a good day. Don't try to use me as a decoy so you can stalk this black man. So I'm pissed and I give them a look like, "You tried it." Thing 2 walks back to Thing 1's office.

Then they both come back out, and again they stalking by my desk. I'm sooo stressed out. Like I've finished my work for the day, it's almost 5pm, and I got these not so wily, nuisances posted by me. I wanted get up and leave; go find something else to do and somewhere else to be. But I'm also like, "What if, as soon as I leave, some sh*t pop off and I'm not here to see or protect Lenny?" I can't leave.

So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm super uncomfortable and still screaming inside. They are so worried about what Lenny is doing they don't even realize the turmoil they are putting me through. They don't realize how their actions could be putting me in distress.

There was an incident that occurred just last week where a group of, let's call them wockets, stopped in front of my desk to have the most racist conversation I have ever been privy to. I am the invisible black girl at this damn job. Also Thing 1 voted for 45. Basically, I can't trust none of these motherseussers.

This whole organization is a microcosm of society after all, so the bigots likely abound.

So 4:30pm hits, that's when our customer center closes. So Thing 1 knocks on the office door and tells Lenny he has to leave because we're closed to the public. Lenny packs his stuff up but he's going slow as hell. I'm dead inside at this point. There's no doubt his behavior is making them even more suspicious. However, a couple of things could be causing his delay.

 1. He could be fully aware of they stalking a**es and is just being petty. He could be thinking, "Oh, so you pressing me? You want me to leave? Let me stay here an extra 45 mins then."

2. He could have a mental problem, as they suggested, that makes him move a little slower. Duh.

3. He could have sprained his ankle.

4. Literally anything else.

****UPDATE****

As I finished the above list another coworker, who we'll call "The Tea," just informed me that Lenny is indeed bi-polar. (The Tea knows and can dig up anything.) They said when he's on his meds he's fine but when he's off he goes "ballistic." Apparently he's talented at his work, but his illness gets in the way of his job performance.

So now I'm super sympathetic. I can tell The Tea feels their previous paranoia was vindicated but I'm like, "I've seen Infinitely Polar Bear and I loved Mark Ruffalo in it so, bye." Bipolar people are people.

Let me say a prayer for this brother because mentally ill black folk are extremely vulnerable to injustice and abuse:

Lord I come to you giving you glory honor and praise. You are my King and my Keeper. You are bigger than any enemy on the horizon. I worship your name Lord. God I come asking you to wrap that young man in your loving arms. Protect him from people who see him as a threat. Protect him from himself. Keep him covered and clothed in his right mind. Bless him to find a medication that works well for him; one that he is happy to take because it doesn't have any troublesome side effects. Bless him that his talent and genius outshine his illness. I pray that he is successful, well cared for and loved. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen

****Back to the Story****

So Lenny finally exits the room. He waves and I say "Bye, have a nice day."

Then he goes into the bathroom. F*CK! Now, he had been going in and out of the bathroom the whole time he was in the office, but hey, how many times you pee is none of my business. So now the beige folk are real mad. It's still a party at my desk; Christmas in Whoville. I keep attracting more and more paranoid people. Again Thing 1 and Thing 2 suck because they should have kept everyone calm.

Five O'Clock hits so Thing 1 goes into the bathroom after the man.

Oooop!

LENNY AIN'T IN THERE!

While ya'll was failing at life, you also failed at stalking cause he already left.

So now everyone's freaking out.  Looking Stupid.

They start checking stairwells and shit and the man is still no where to be found.

Thank God! He got out.

While they all looking lost, I'm clocking the fuck out and running up out of there as fast as I can. I need to breathe and distance myself from this foolishness.

Until tomorrow.

So that's it. Thank you for journeying with me to the sunken place. Thank you Jordan Peele for giving us the red pill and opening our eyes to the prisons we live in.

Stay as vigilant and as woke as you can my loves.

*****Update Update******

And nothing was stolen or came up missing the next morning.

B*tches.