Combating Infectious Hate

*Plays Mad - by Solange in the background*

I have been finding it increasingly difficult to not become hate-filled in such a hateful world. It's hard to watch others flourish in a world designed to bury you. Hard to not hate those who oppress you or benefit from your oppression. Hard to not be turned into the thing you despise. Sometimes I get so angry, irritated and irritable. To others looking from the outside in, I am the "angry black woman." Well I am angry, and I have no intention of turning off my emotions or modifying my attitude to make others feel comfortable. F*ck your comfort. Still, the depth and dimension I possess as a human being can never be reduced to a caricature. Few take the time or care to discover that though. 

I want to be love. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes I want to be a person who's all about compassion and service. But life. Simply living can make you lose all the love you used to have. It's a struggle to stay little miss sunshine. Sometimes you're Eeyore and sometimes you're Anger from Inside Out. So. How do you keep the darkness of the world from seeping into your heart and mind? I know very little about most things. But I do have a few tips, hints and tricks that have helped me thus far.

Spirit

If you've been reading my blog you probably know by now that I'm a Christian. I'm not perfect, but I still love the Lord with all that I have. I couldn't imagine my life without Him. He is the only thing that has remained a constant throughout my life. God gives me hope when I have none left. He gives me joy when the world has drained it and strength when I have been pummeled by life. I can finish the work that I have left to do because of Him.

But, everyone isn't a Christian, or even religious. However, there are still ways to become spiritually aware and aligned. Yoga and meditation work great. Or take the time to find peaceful, quiet spots and just rest in those moments. For me there's something so wonderful about laying out in the grass with the sun on my face. It's crucial to regularly set aside time where there are no expectations and no obligations on the horizon. It is in those moments that I feel the least oppressed and the most free.

Love

Another way to combat hate entering your heart is to fill it with other things first. Cue friends, families and partners. It's amazing what your loved ones can do for you when you feel broken. We've all had those crappy days that were completely turned around because of the light of our tribe. It's so easy to get consumed or distracted by work and obligations but don't forget to make time for people. Schedule those brunches, movie nights and mini golf sessions. Having the opportunity to be loved and love on others fights infectious hate like no other.

Escape

Take a vacation! That's the absolute best way to escape the BS of the world and your life. Just
completely remove yourself from the equation. Go where everyone has to be nice to you because it's their job or because they want your coins. Obligatory niceness? Hey, I'll take it! Go where you have to turn off your phone or be faced with $5,000 in roaming charges. Go somewhere that charges for wifi so you won't feel tempted to "check-in." Somewhere you can pretend to be a boss because you saved a ridiculous amount of spending money. If you can't leave the country or state, have a staycation. Book a hotel downtown and live it up like a tourist in your own city. Do all the things you're ashamed you haven't done even though you've lived there all your life. (I still have not been to the Sears Tower). Can you do this every time you're weary with the ways of the world? Probably not, but when you do have the opportunity; grab it chile.

Poor Man's Tools

Not everyone can afford to just pick up and leave for vacations or permanent residency in another country. Lord knows I've thought about the latter. For those of us on a tight budget, we have to find ways to cope with life while still being in the midst of it, day in and day out. One thing that works for me?

MUSIC!

I could come to work wanting to slap everyone that even thinks about breathing my name out of their mouths, but as soon as I put on some Beyonce, or Rihanna or Gambino all of that frustration melts away. It's just me and the rhythm of the beat. Music is literally magical. Your phone is your wand. You are your own fairy Godmother. Go make some magic.

If not music, then I highly suggest incorporating all the extracurricular activities that you used to do in grade school: art, dance, theatre, creative writing, gym, poetry, etc. Art classes are expensive AF. Buy your own paint, easel and canvas. I'm sure Amazon or Ebay got them for the cheap. Learn the choreography from that Teyana Taylor video. Play Zumba, Just Dance or the Michael Jackson Experience on your favorite game console. Go to the gym and swim a few laps. Write when you're sad, mad, in love, happy or just because. Join this month's poetry challenge. Go see that play written and directed by the First Lady at Light of Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Christ.

If there's one thing I've learned, having a life that's work, home, sleep, repeat, is the driest most depressing routine ever. You've got to lift yourself out of that funk. None of the above will renew or refresh you when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Incorporate activities that will lighten your step.

Unplug

One day I got so fed up with the current affairs of the world I unfollowed every news outlet on Facebook. My Gawd! That blessed me. I stopped watching the news a long time ago for similar reasons. The news is depressing as hell and having access 24/7 to every tragedy and catastrophe around the globe is bad for your health. If you need to leave the news, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, whatever, for any reason, please don't be afraid to do so. Those raggedy events and breaking news stories will be waiting for you when you get back.

You can unplug from people too. Sometimes you just have to create that distance. Stop the texts and phone calls. Maybe unfollow them on Facebook for a while if you're not ready to completely unfriend them. If there aren't any trying relationships that you need a break from, you can still purposefully take time for yourself. Just because. I mean you're worth it fam. Something that I've always wanted to do is go on a silent/meditation retreat. There are centers like these all over the US and all over the world. Some of them are pretty intense; they confiscate your phone and may even require you to take a vow of silence while you're there. I mean are you 'bout it or nawl? LOL No, but seriously. With some research you can find a retreat that's best suited for you.

Well.
Dazit.
Those are my suggestions.

Does the above always keep me from being mad or hateful? No.

Does it help to mitigate emotions and feelings of insanity in the meantime? Yes ma'am and/or sir.

What about you? Do you have any tips for combating the hate? How do you stay full of love when the world don't love you back?