Literary Diva: Rupi Kaur

How do I begin to express the mountain's breadth and height of love I have for Milk and Honey? Author and literary chemist Rupi Kaur, places gently and and lovingly in your hands, profound wisdom on family, love, abuse, healing, sex, self-discovery and self-love. This is a book to give to your daughters, your sisters, your mothers. I could have used this book in adolescence. It would have done wonders for me in terms of my self-worth, then and now. Perhaps I could have learned a little sooner how valuable I am, just as I am.

I spent a lot of time when I was younger obsessed with love: loving someone and having someone love me back. That was the most important thing to me at the time. I tried to nurture and cultivate it in every boy and later in every man I met. But I didn't have a green thumb in love. In the beginning, I thought pouring and giving and squeezing all I had in me was the key. How could someone not love me for all I had to give? If I can quote another poet, r. h. Sin, "you tried to love someone into loving you, that's not how love works." Lawd, I didn't know! I was focusing all my energy on loving other people (who weren't loving me back) when I should have been learning to love myself. When you love yourself you don't let people treat you any ole way. You don't keep trying to pour from an empty pitcher.

That's a bit of my own story and wisdom but we aren't here for that. We're here for that Milk and Honey fire.

Shall I proceed?
Yes indeed!

The book is broken up into four parts: the hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing.

In the loving, Rupi talks about how we project our own hearts onto people who don't have the capacity to love us the way we need to be loved. We give them credit for things they haven't really earned because we are enamored with them. Have you ever fallen in love so hard you thought your partner was the moon and the stars in the sky? Go back down memory lane. Do you remember that feeling: the quickening of the heart, the butterflies? Do you remember thinking: "This is the best I've ever had. This is the best I'll ever feel." Rupi remembers too, but she expresses some misgivings about those feelings:

and i was convinced you'd remain the most beautiful thing i'd ever feel. do you know how limiting that is. to think at such a ripe young age i'd experienced the most exhilarating person i'd ever meet....to think I tasted the rawest form of honey and everything else would be refined and synthetic. 

She is speaking to me honey! I know this all too well. I experienced something so sweet and new and different than what I'd know. I thought, this is the greatest love. How wrong I was. The longer we live the fuller and richer love becomes. We grow and (ideally) evolve into better lovers. Why we tend to limit the infinite, ever expanding possibilities for intimacy and romance in our lives I will never know.

Stop the madness. Stop giving these raggedy folks more credit than they're due.

(LOL okay maybe they aren't raggedy for you but they are for me)

In the breaking she talks about f*ckboys. Can you write a book of love poems without them? Probably not. Rupi talks about leaving a deteriorating relationship and having these selfish, greedy individuals you once called bae trying to pull you back in. The scars are still fresh in your heart and here they come with their salty, ashy hands trying to touch that wounded place again. I'm going to talk about two types of f*ckboys I've observed in this book. Or maybe they're just the same piece of crap. Who knows?

Exhibit A: The Boomerang

you leave
but you don't stay gone
why do you do that
why do you
abandon the thing you want to keep
why do you linger
in a place you do not want to stay
why do you think it's okay to do both
go and return all at once

Tyrants! I've just managed to push you out the backdoor. I've just heard the click of the lock in my ear. With an unholy boldness, here you come banging on the front door, begging to be let in again. Whether you left or I kicked you out, respect that this is over. Whom haveth the time? Not I.

Exhibit B: The Glutton

i will tell you about selfish people. even when they know they will hurt you they walk into your life and taste you because you are the type of being they don't want to miss out on. you are too much shine to not be felt. so when they have gotten a good look at everything you have to offer. when they have taken your skin your hair your secrets with them. when they realize how real this is. how much of a storm you are and it hits them.

that is when the cowardice sets in. that is when the person you thought they were is replaced by the sad reality of what they are. that is when they lose every fighting bone in their body and leave after saying you will find better than me......they'll say something along the lines of i just had to try. i had to give it a chance. it was you after all.

Ain't that some shat! Here you are thinking this is the lover of your dreams and they're only here to sample a few dishes. They only hopped on because they found a Groupon. These hoes ain't loyal. It's like, "Sir, I'm not the lady at the jewel giving out free samples. You gots to pay for this! The currency is commitment. Run me my money!" But as Rupi says, "that is the thing about selfish people. they gamble entire beings, entire souls to please their own." Speak Goddess! Rupi is the truth.

Okay, I need everyone to buy this book so let me stop giving you all the juicy tidbits. BUY IT HERE It's so worth it.

You will love Rupi Kaur. I swear I was reading this book like: "Are you me? Did I write this about myself?" She will nourish your mind, heart and soul.