Been Thinking 'Bout Forever

So the time has come in my life where my biological feminine clock has been ringing on some Quasimoto type stuff.
 
I'm not sure if it's because I see other people in relationships, engaged or already married. It probably has more to do with my 3 year hiatus in the dating world...yikes! I know. Don't throw me shade.

Whatever the reason I've been feeling completely agitated with my love life, or lack there of. Yes there is a huge lack, it's non-existent. Home girl couldn't have gotten less if I would have prayed, "Send me less Lord, Bless me with less oh Father!" But I digress.....

It's getting to the point where its really hard to bear being alone. I've always been and probably always will be a very emotional and sensitive person. Though I don't show it, outside of my ramblings on twitter and Facebook, I am a very lovey-dovey type of gal. People hardly see that side of me in action, but trust me honey it is most certainly there. So with my spring of love overflowing constantly nowadays, and no significant other to absorb it, I feel like I'm drowning.

I was created to love. If there's one thing I know about myself its this very fact. Being unable to act on this very real part of me has been uncomfortable for me to say the least. The reason I haven't been able to act on this loving impulse? I like who I can't have, and I don't like who I can have.

Ain't that some mess? And it sucks big purple and blue monkey balls! There's only one person that I really like and he is the epitome of unavailable. And lets just leave it at that.

Then there was this one guy who I was willing to be all in for, but later I realized it was for the wrong reasons. The biggest trap that women and men fall into when trying to get through a dry spell in their love life is settling. You know, when you've been waiting for love for so long that that hideous barista at Starbucks that always flirts with you starts to look attractive. Or when that annoying guy who always cracks lame jokes to make you laugh, has you second guessing your own sense of humor? It's a terrible trap to fall in. You want to be with someone so bad that you ignore signs that clearly show they are not what you want or what you need. This couldn't be more true of one guy I know. I wanted to like him so bad. I wanted to be in a relationship with him so bad. But when things weren't working out and I had a chance to step back and thoroughly look at the situation, I realized he was not the one for me. He was in no way my type, and to be honest there were certain personality traits that he possessed which I could do without.

Then another guy I know is a really nice guy, but that's pretty much it. I am not attracted to him and I really don't want to be with him. I'm 100% positive that he would be a great boyfriend though. BUT ladies and gentlemen, Please PLEASE do not underestimate the importance of attraction. If you are not attracted to a guy or a girl it will not work. Trust me. I know. I've tried. And I'm not just talking looks. If there isn't something in you that gets excited, tingly or warm when you talk to or see that person, its a no go. Attraction is an important bond that you need to make with anyone that you are dating or in a relationship with. Like I said its not just about the physical, it could be their intelligence, their demeanor or any number of personality traits. I know for me a confident man is the sexiest thing on the planet. If I see characteristic in a guy you better believe I'ma be like, "Hey Boo!" (but not really because I don't approach guys in such a forward manner, but that's another post for another day)
Relationships and love are hard when you're in them and hard when you're not. No matter what, there is going to be some type of struggle. I do believe that a person should be comfortable with being alone though. Everyone should (will) experience a point in their life where they are alone. If you can get through that time without jumping into a bunch of meaningless relationships or keep from falling into a deep depression, I say kudos. You go Glen Coco!! In the meantime hold out a little while longer, your princess or prince charming is on the way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful, you are smart, your are kind and you are a catch honey! You just have to wait for the right person to notice and when they do it will all be worth it my dear.


Good Luck!
-Jasmine